Jasper & Mr Yankee Teacher
by NinjaWafflePublishingCo
Summary: What happens when a stubborn Jasper meets a stubborn Yankee Civil War History teacher? Will Jasper *gasp* FAIL CIVIL WAR HISTORY? read to find out. pre-twilight but not by much please read & review
1. Don't Diss The Confederacy

**I've been reading some "Jasper and the Yankee Teacher" stories, and I noticed that all of them only have the first day, so I'm making one for the long run. I'm only writing about his American History class.**

Full summary: What happens when a very stubborn Jasper has a very stubborn Yankee History teacher? Projects, tests, essays, homework, and quizzes will be failed, people will yell, and a few (FEW???) choice words will be shared between teacher and student. Will Jasper *gasp* FAIL CIVIL WAR HISTORY CLASS?!?!?!?!?!? read and find out. Please review

Jasper's POV

"_Oh, I'm a good old Rebel  
Now that's just what I am  
For this fair land of freedom  
I do not care a damn.  
I'm glad I fit against it  
I only wish we'd won.  
And I don't want no pardon  
For anything I done."_

I started to sing before we left for school. A new school. In southern Illinois, Yankee territory. Not one Confederate soldier ever recorded is from Illinois—every army guy in this state was a Yankee.

"Cut it out, Jasper, no one cares about the fact that we are in 'Yankee Territory,'" Edward tells me.

"Please, you two, can we not start our first day with fighting?" my angel, Alice, begs.

"Ok, Alice," I tell her.

"Come on, guys, or we'll be late," Rosalie says as she walks up, Emmett in tow.

We all pack into Edward's Volvo, Edward at the wheel, Emmett in shotgun, I'm sitting by the passenger side window with Alice next to me, Rosalie behind Edward. It's packed, but we are trying to be "inconspicuous" this year, at least to start, so Emmett's huge red Jeep is out of the question. We get to the school at vampire speed, and once we step out of the stupid Volvo, I am hit with a wave of lust.

"My Volvo isn't stupid," Edward mutters as he passes me.

Whatever. Alice suddenly puts a piece of paper in my hand, my schedule. Well, time to start the year.

* * *

I sat down with Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Edward, then a middle-aged man walked in. He said, "Welcome to American History class, my name is Mr. Anderson. This Semester, we will be learning about the American Civil War. As you all know, we will be having an overnight trip to Springfield. Tomorrow, there will be a bus that will take us to Springfield and be our chauffer. The first place we will stop will be New Salem and we'll take the tour, then we will go to Springfield and settle at our hotel, after that we will be going to dinner and a fun park. We will be getting there Monday, stay Tuesday, Wednesday, and get home Thursday. Pack for four days. Don't let me forget to give you this sheet." He waved a stack of papers about the trip. "Now, because today is a school lesson, let's start with an introductory discussion on the causes of the Civil War. Now, as everyone knows, the cause of the Civil War is slavery. The southern states decided that they wanted to keep slaves and treat them like livestock, so they started a war with the northern states. The northern states fought for the just cause to free all African-Americans and treat them equally."

My anger skyrocketed at what he said, wrong, wrong, double wrong, WRONG! I raised my hand as casually as I could.

"Yes, Mr…?" Mr. Anderson said.

"Hale," I told him, my accent growing strong, "I disagree with everything you just said there. The Confederacy didn't fight for slavery, in fact, 'most all Confederates didn' own slaves. Robert E. Lee didn' like slavery, and he was commander of the Confederate army. Also the Union had slavery in Missouri, Kentucky, and Maryland. Them Yankees didn't treat African-Americans fairly till MLK,Jr."

Mr. Anderson, who now I deem Mr. Yankee, obviously wasn't used to people undermining his authority. "Mr. Hale, I want you to come here for a minute."

When I got up by his desk, his tone quieted down so no one else could hear and changed drastically and would probably make a normal human pee himself. "I want you to shut the hell up, boy. You don't understand what you are talking about. I have spent half my life researching on the Civil War. Now either you can stop your lying, or you can sit in the corner and write lines, which will it be?"

I looked at him coolly, "Mr. Anderson, I won't lie."

He smirked. "Good, now say 'I was wrong, the Confederacy fought for slavery, and the Union fought to free them and treat them fairly.' Go on, say it."

I still held a perfect poker face. "Mr. Anderson, I refuse to sell out my beliefs to ones that will insult and denounce my ancestors and their friends. The Confederacy fought to be free and independent, the Union fought to preserve the United States of America. If you want me to sit in a corner for what I believe in, then so be it. I don't care, but I refuse to say something I know is false."

Mr. Yankee's face turned purple. "Go sit in the corner and take out a piece of notebook paper, I want you to write 'the Confederacy fought for slavery' 100 times, if you don't do this, then you will have detention for the next two weeks."

I look at him plainly, "Ok, so be it." And I go and sit in the corner.

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence. _

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence. _

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence. _

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence. _

_The Confederacy fought for freedom and independence._

I finished up my lines and handed them in as the bell rang, announcing the end of the History class. "See you in detention," I tell him as I walk out.

**So? How was it? Did you like it? WELL?? Constructive criticism is fine with me. FYI: The thing about Illinois is true, there isn't one Confederate soldier officially from Illinois. I will have the Springfield trip in it, don't worry (Anyone who has been to the Lincoln museum will sort of know where this is going).**

**Mucho thanks to my editor, Elaine. She fixed my multiple mistakes, she is an awesome friend and I would probably fall apart without her... I will leave some non- grammar or spelling related notes she sent to me with the story for your amusment.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!**


	2. Smart, Evil, Demonic Human Being

**Much thanks to "****Twilight Diaries" who was the first person to review, and thanks everyone who added me as a favorite (story or author). Virtual cookies for anyone who reviews.**

**4got to mention this in the first chapter:**** sadly I DON'T own Jasper Whitlock Hale, or any other Twilight character, Stephanie Meyer dose.**

**Ok, yea, I know at least SOME of you are thinking 'boy, she's racist' because of what I think on the Civil War. I TOTALLY AGREE WITH JASPER ON THIS ONE! In my perspective, the Confederacy did fight for freedom and independence. But, since I live in NORTHERN Illinois (Yankee Territory), My ideas are shot down as quickly as a 10 point buck during deer hunting season.**

"_**My ideas are shot down as quickly as a 10 point buck during deer hunting season."**_** Wow, I'm not a hick AT ALL.**

**I'm probably gonna start every chapter with a couple verses of Confederate music.**

**Hope you like this new chapter...**

**(FYI: Last chapter's song was 'Oh! I'm A Good Ole Rebel')**

Jasper's POV

"_Come, stack arms, men. Pile on the rails,  
Stir up the campfire bright;  
No matter if the canteen fails,  
We'll make a roaring night.  
Here Shenandoah brawls along,  
There burly Blue Ridge echoes strong  
To swell the brigade's rousing song  
Of 'Stonewall Jackson's way.'"_

'Stonewall Jackson's Way' was blasting in my ears, though it really didn't need to. I could hear the music even if I muted my iPod. I mainly crank it up for two reasons: 1) it drones out all the human noises, and 2) it annoys Edward and Rosalie. Simple enough answer. Emmett nudged me and looked forward, then I noticed that Mr. Yankee was talking over the excited students. I popped out an ear bud.

"....just continue on until we reach New Salem. Then we will be going to the cemetery where Lincoln is buried, also there are the Illinois WWII, Korean, and Vietnam War memorials. So, put your bags over by the bus driver on the side, and get into your seats." Mr. Yankee was telling the class, "I will tell you your room mates when we reach the hotel."

"Dude, did we chose who we wanted as roommates?" Emmett asked me as we sat down. Across the aisle, Alice and Rosalie were looking over a fashion magazine. In front of us, Edward was reading a book.

"No...I didn't. Hey, Eddie-" I start to ask, but he cuts me off.

"Don't call me Eddie, and no, I didn't chose roommates. I don't think anyone did. From what Mr. Anderson—Yes, Jasper, Mr. Yankee—is thinking, it's a random draw."

"Which means…?" Emmett asks.

"Which means we are screwed this trip," I answer him.

"No, Emmett, guys have guys as roommates, and girls have girls as roommates. You aren't getting any from Rosalie." Edward—I'm assuming—answers Emmett's thoughts. I tune back into my music. '_Bonnie Blue Flag'_ is playing and I hum to the melody.

"Jasper, can you hum any LOUDER?" Edward asks.

"Actually, I can, but surprisingly, I don't feel like getting on Mr. Yankee's bad side this trip. I'm afraid that if I do, then he's gonna try and smother me in my sleep," I tell him simply.

"Dude," Emmett starts to say, "We are _vampires,_ for god's sake. We. Don't. Sleep."

"Don't you think I know that? Must I remind you that I am OLDER than you by at least 75 years? What I'm afraid of is he is going to _try_ and smother me, find out I don't sleep, assume something is up. And find out that-"

"Find out what?" Mr. Yankee asks.

"Nothing. You'll find out nothing because there is nothing to find out." Emmett says quickly. Too quickly. He sounds guilty.

"When I find out what you three are hiding you will wish-" Mr. Yankee started, but as cut off by the girl sitting behind us.

"Mr. Anderson, I feel carsick, can you help me?" She tells him. Her voice and tone say that she means it, but her mood isn't connecting with carsickness.

He softens up. "I have some Dramamine, can you take it?"

"If it helps," she responds.

Mr. Yankee goes to get some Dramamine and comes back; she quickly dry swallows it. "Thank you." Mr. Yankee walks away, forgetting his conversation with us. Suddenly, Edward starts clapping quietly.

"Nice performance," he tells her.

She looks at us. "You owe me."

Suddenly, Edward gets worried. "How much of our conversation did you hear?" he asks.

"I've heard your conversation since you three got on the bus. I only started paying attention when you"—she points at Edward—"told him"—she points at me—"_ 'Jasper, can you hum any LOUDER?'_ I'm assuming your name is Jasper."

"How much do you know?" I asked her.

"Enough," she replies, a smug smile on her face. _She is teasing us,_ I think to myself, and Edward nods. I know enough of an average human's mind not to keep biting, but this is an important matter.

"Seriously, how much do you know?" I ask again.

"I already told you."

"I swear to God, you little punk!" Emmet bites into her trap. _Evil, demonic human being._

She starts to smile. "So, that little bit of information is important to you. But how important, I wonder?" she said.

I sigh. "Look," I say in a reasoning tone, "Please, just tell us what you know."

She rolled her eyes, giving up on her evil mind games. "Fine. I happened to overhear you three talking, and I heard him"—she pointed at Emmett—"say that you three are _vampires._ Also, I heard you are at least 75 years older than him—Sorry, what's your name?"

"Emmett."

"Thank you, Emmett. So correct me if I'm wrong, but judging by what happened yesterday in History, your supposed age, and the fact that none of you age, again, let me say, correct me if I'm wrong, but...were you in the Civil War?" She asks innocently. _SMART, evil, demonic, human being._

"Ummm... No?" Emmett says.

"So, am I right?" She looks at me. Not in a lustful way, or an angry way, she just seems..._curious_.

_Should I tell her?_ I mentally ask Edward. He nods.

"Well..." I sigh and look down. "Yes, I am."

Her eyes brighten up and her emotions are all mixed and confusing. She isn't mad, or upset, or scared. "What side?" she asks.

"Confederate." I tell her, no use hiding anything now. Again her emotions are mixed and confusing. Again she isn't mad, or upset, or scared. She is intrigued and excited, no hint of annoyance at what side I am on.

"That is so cool." She pauses for a second. "You do know you're in Yankee Territory, right?"

I turn towards Edward. "HA! I TOLD you people cared about that!" Then I noticed something. "You aren't mad at me." I point out, "You aren't from Illinois, are you?"

"Nope. I used to live just outside of Nashville, and my family moved there in the 1900s. I'm originally from the Shenandoah Valley, in Virginia." My iPod started to _'Stonewall Jackson's Way'_ again. "Oh! I love that song!" And she started to hum along to the tune.

"Two things, one, you can HEAR that, and two, you LIKE his music?" Edward asks.

"CLASS!" Mr. Yankee yells over everything. "We are here!" Everyone started to file out of the bus.

"Oh, one more thing...have fun at the Lincoln Museum!" She stood up and walks off the bus, giggling all the way. _Confusing, smart, evil, demented, human being._

"True that," Edward says as he gets up.

"Hey, hey you!" I yell as I catch up to the strange girl, "What's your name?"

"Jesse," she tells me.

"Ok, Jesse, what did you mean by 'Have fun at the Lincoln Museum'?" I ask her, my curiosity getting the better of me.

She smiled devilishly. "Why should I tell you? I could just leave you hanging, unable to get your questions answered. Just _wishing_ that you had someone to tell you-"

"Ok! Fine, what do you want?!" I tell her. _Manipulating, confusing, smart, evil, demonic human being._

"Who said I wanted anything? I don't need to know. I already know. Oh, by the way I'd HIGHLY recommend keeping your mouth shut there. The guards will be on you like glue," Jesse says in an innocent way.

"Jazzy!" Alice walks up next to me, "Hi, Jesse, my name is Alice!" The two girls shake hands.

"Hi, Alice...you know each other?" she asks, but I can tell her real question through her emotions: "_Are you a vampire too?"_

"_Yes_...We are adopted _siblings._" Alice tells her, and answers her implied question. Jesse nods with understanding.

"HORSEEEEEEE!!!" screeches one of the other girls. Everyone suddenly huddles close to the horse.

"You don't like horses?" Alice asks.

"Naw, I do. I'm just not obsessed with them," Jesse tells us.

"Do you ride?" Alice questioned.

"I used to, when I lived in Tennessee-"

"You lived in _Tennessee_? You are such a hillbilly!" one of the girls, the one who yelled about the horse, mocked.

"Yeah, I guess I am a hillbilly. But being a hillbilly is better than being a prissy bitch who wouldn't be able to last one whole day in the outdoors, or alone, for that matter. I was raised to be independent, and I know how to work, yes, work, as in _manual labor_ and not to complain because '_Oh! I broke a nail'_. So which do you think is better in the long run? Being a hillbilly who knows how to support themself, or some prissy bitch who would spend her money on things she doesn't need?" Jesse told her. She kept a straight poker face, but her emotions showed a bit of anger and annoyance. When Ms. Prissy Bitch couldn't come up with a comeback, Jesse noticed, and her emotions were overcome with smugness, but her face didn't change.

"Yeah...well...you are just stupid! And...and you have no sense of _fashion_," Prissy Bitch finally came up with.

"You know, when people mock or make fun of other people, they do it so they feel superior. So every time you call me a hillbilly, or stupid, remember this: anger is fueled by envy, _every time_ you make fun of someone, or degrade them, you are envious—that means _jealous_—of them, and you feel that they are better than you, so thanks for the compliment," Jesse shoots back with no hesitation. _Dang! She is good at mind games_, I think. "Oh, and one more thing," she adds, "I don't care if I have a sense of _'fashion'_, okay, I have much better uses for my time then to care about what people think my outfit will look like."

Prissy Bitch walked away.

"Damn, you are really good at getting under people's skin," Edward says.

A guy walks up to her, "Hey, Jess, what up?"

"Hey, Linus, nothing much," Jesse responds with ease. Linus, I think that's his name, starts to rub his eyes. A lot.

"Dude, you okay?" I ask. Worry has started to bubble up inside him.

"Ummm, I don't know...I think I might be allergic to horses." He tells us. And so faintly only a vampire could see it, his eyes start to swell up.

"Jesse," Alice starts, "Do you have any Benadryl?" Jesse nods her head. "Give some to him. Now."

"Ummm... ok," She reaches into her pocket and takes out a Benadryl pill and gives it to him. "Dry swallow it." Linus listens to her. But he is still itching his eyes, and that isn't a good sign.

"Here, come with me." Alice ushers him over to a bench and makes him sit down, literally _makes_ him sit down.

"I think we should get Mr. Yanke- sorry, Mr. _Anderson_—over here," I tell her.

Jesse smiles. "Mr. Yankee? Nice. Don't call him that in front of his face," Jesse tells me, then turns to face where Mr. Yankee is. "MR. ANDERSON!!" she yells, he immediately comes over to see us. He takes a look at Linus and gets everyone's attention.

"CLASS! I'm sorry to inform you all, but we have to cut New Salem short. We will go straight to our hotel room and we will go to the Lincoln tomb some other time during this trip." He tells us and we all usher ourselves onto the bus.

**The part with the horse is based on true events! Not kidding, when my class went there, my friend petted a horse then his eyes puffed up and we had to leave earlier that expected. Please R&R.**

**Ok, this comment has to do with my grammar, but I'm too lazy to get rid of it and i want you all to see my flaws. That were (hopefully) fixed my my wonderful friend and editor: Elaine**

_**Elaine: **__**y**__**ou're still switching back and forth between past and present tense. Since it looks like you are trying to tell the story in present tense, I've changed the words in past tense as if they were misspelled. I did make a number of punctuation changes, which **__**i**__** didn't mark. **__**p**__**ay attention to run on sentences, and don't slap me if **__**i**__** sound like an **__**e**__**nglish teacher.**_

**Me: No offence Elaine... But when you aren't trying, you couldn't be an English teacher... I fell like making fun of you for a second, so I underlined your grammatical mistakes... You're still one of my best friends! Please don't hit me, I've always wanted to correct an English teacher's grammatical mistakes!**

**REVIEW PLEASE!!! **


	3. I'm not Ulysses S Grant!

**Hey Hey Hey... Sorry I didn't update sooner... I went to the Camp Edwards Winter Camp (So much fun)!!!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYONE EXCEPT FOR JESSE (and the character of Linus, but not the name)!**

**Merry Christmas and a happy new year to my reviewers!**

**No, Jesse isn't a vampire... Don't worry. But she can read people like a book (Kinda like in Lie to Me, to an extent)**

**Last Chapter's song was 'Stonewall Jackson's Way'**

Jasper's POV

_There are many great men in the southern land  
Who have hurried away to the field.  
Who have sworn to defend us or die in the cause  
And our independence they'll yield.  
I hear their war cry sounding sound in deep over mountain and glen,  
Their light springing footsteps are trapped in the hills.  
'Tis the march of the southern men,  
'Tis the march  
'Tis the march  
'Tis the march of the southern men  
__**(AN- I did that by MEMORY!)  
**__**(E/N- I believe you! I think I have "Battle Cry of Freedom" "Stonewall Jackson's way" and "I'm a Good Old Rebel" almost memorized since I've been working on that songbook thingie.)  
(A/N- Songbook thingie= my Christmas present which I will love!)**_

Jesse took Edward's book and slammed against my head.

"What the _hell_ was that for?!" I asked.

"I was tapping you on the shoulder, but you didn't notice, and Emmett told me to hit you on the head with a book... Mr. Anderson just told us that we would get to the hotel in less than five minutes," she told me innocently.

"Liar!" Emmett said. "I never told you to hit him on the head with a book to get him to notice!"

Jesse was about to say something when the bus stopped suddenly and Jesse hit her head on the back of the seat in front of us. I looked out the window and saw the hotel we were staying at.

"Simpson hotel!" Jesse yelled out, quickly recovering from hitting the seat. **(E/N: wow this is sounding familiar…)**

"How," I asked her, "did you come up with that name?"

"Simple," she told me, "We are in Springfield and we are right next to a power plant."

"Class, when you leave the bus, you will pick a room number out of a hat. Girls, you have this hat." He held up a cowboy hat. "And guys, you will get this hat." He held up a top hat. "On each piece of paper, there is a room number written, that will be your room, now everyone, come on up."

I stood up and picked a piece of paper from the hat, _226_ was the number.

Emmett's POV

"Emmett, choose a piece of paper," the teacher told me. _226._ Sweet, I got the same as Jasper.

Edward's POV

_God, he is hot, I hope he likes me,_ one of the girls on the bus thought. Gag. I pulled out a piece of paper from the guys' hat. I know Emmet and Jasper both have room 226 from their thoughts. I hope I get it too.

_309_, God damn it.

Jesse's POV

I wonder what room I'm going to get. I hope it is away from Mr. Anderson, if he knew who I was related to, he would smother me in my sleep. Well, I guess it is time to find out. _228._

Rosalie's POV

_228_, Hmmm, I guess it is okay.

Alice's POV

What's the point of making me pick a piece of paper? I already know I'm getting room 228, and I'm sharing with Rosalie & Jesse.

Linus's POV

_226._ Ok, I guess.

Back to Jesse's POV

"Hi, Jesse, this is Rosalie, another one of my _siblings_." Alice tells me as we get into our room.

"Hi, Rosalie." I shake her hand. She smiles at me.

"Nice to meet you," Rosalie tells me.

"Oh my god! We have a door!" I say out of the blue.

"So...?" Rosalie asks.

"So, we have neighbors! I wonder who they are!" I say respond. I go to open the door, but Alice beats me to it. She opens our door and knocks on the second door. To my total surprise, Linus opens the door.

"What the hell? This is really bad planning..." I say out loud.

"Why do you say that?" Jasper asks.

Alice looks at him, "If our rooms are like this, then everyone's are..."

"Hormonal human teenagers having connecting rooms with each other...what could go wrong?" Emmett told us.

"What do you mean _human?_" Linus asks.

"Umm... Nothing..." Emmett told him, but Linus wasn't buying it.

"Should I?" I mouthed at Alice. She nodded.

"Sie sind vampire ... dont erzählen irgendjemanden," I told him in German. **(They are vampires... don't tell anyone)**

"Why did you tell him that in German?" Rosalie asked.

"I don't know... I just felt like it..." **(E/N: this character is reminding me a lot of you (Author= Mandi)…)**

"Wait! They are _vampires_?" Linus asked.

"Ja... LANG LEBE DEUTSCHLAND!!!!" I yelled. **(long live Germany!!!!)**

"What did you drink before you got on the bus?" Linus asked me cautiously.

"ein großer Kaffee von starbucks," I told him simply. **(a large coffee from starbucks)**

"Oh... Ok... I thought it was worse." Linus sighed in relief.

"Guys, Mr. Anderson is coming!" Alice announced, we hurriedly closed both doors. We no sooner closed the latch then a knock was heard on our door. I opened it to find none other than Mr. Anderson.

"Get ready for dinner and the fun park." He told us and shut the door in my face.

Jasper's POV (At dinner *the Golden Corral*)  
**(I had a similar discussion with my friends about the conversation you are about to read, Jesse portraying yours truly in this instance)**

"Rare, please," Jesse asked the person who cooked the steaks.

"Is this good?" He showed her a burned steak.

"No... Rare."

"This?" a less burnt, but still gray steak.

"No... I'm not Ulysses S. Grant, I like my steak rare, hear that? I want my steak fucking rare!" She tells him, after he gives her a puzzled look, she sighs, "Just give me some from that steak you put on a couple of minutes ago." Finally he cuts her some of it. Along with the barely cooked steak, she fills her plate with the mac and cheese from here. **(E/N: Umm…I might have missed this, but…in Springfield…you weren't ACTUALLY yelling/swearing at the guy who cooked the steak, were you? were you? I'm worried...)  
(A/N: No, I wasn't Elaine, don't worry. But that is what I normally have to do to get a rare steak there, I was just lucky then.)**

"What the hell?" Edward asks when Jesse comes back to our table.

"She likes her meat rare," Linus tells him simply.

"No, I don't like my steak rare, I like it raw. I want to hear the cow's last pitiful moos as it slowly dies on my plate," Jesse corrects her friend.

"You are so demented!" Rosalie teases around. **(E/N: The vegetarian editor agrees with Rosalie here…)**

"I guess I am!" Jesse replies.

"No wonder you fit in with us." Emmett adds in.

"You know what, I think it is all the country music she is listening to...it's rotting her brain," Linus piped up.

Jesse glared at him and whipped out her spoon. "Don't diss the Flatts! Rascal Flatts is the awesomest band ever. You say they suck and I will murder you in your sleep!" she told him, pointing the spoon threateningly.**(E/N: I feel like i know the characters so well…Jesse is so familiar…it's almost like I've met her in real life…same with this Linus person…why do i keep wanting to call him Andrew?)  
(A/N: Yes, Elaine... I keep wanting to type Linus's name out A-N-D-R-E-W too.)**

"Oh, I'm so scared of a spoon. Spoons can't hurt anyone," Linus retorted.

Jesse straightened up. "I don't know about that... There are multiple ways to kill people with spoons... You could gouge a person's eyes out, or scalp them, shove the handle up a person's nose or in their ears... There is also the basic stab the throat and break the windpipe. I once saw this person get murdered by a spoon in CSI!"

I stare at her blankly. "You worry me sometimes." **(E/N: yes, I'm very worried…)**

She raised an eyebrow. "Sometimes?"

"Ok, constantly. I'm worried you are going to end up killing yourself by trying stunts that you see on TV."

"Don't worry about that... I've learned my lesson." she grinned ruefully. **(E/N: what did you do? WHAT DID YOU DO?)  
(A/N: Don't worry, nothing too serious... I just got all of the little kids at our school kicked off the single bar at the playground... I was trying a stunt I saw on "The Princes Bride")**

"Again I repeat: You worry me."

**Elaine and I go to school together, and our class went to Springfield, so that is where she has her knowledge about the trip (Which is based on true events)**

**If I may have a moment to say something serious... On this date of January 1, over a hundred years ago, President Abraham Lincoln announced the Emancipation Proclamation, which attempted to free the slaves everywhere except for the border states (Missouri, Kentucky, Maryland, and Delaware). Also, on this date of January 1, the second battle of Galveston (Texas), may we all pause for a moment of silence to honor the brave men who fought to preserve this country, and for the valiant men who fought to create their own country. May they rest in peace. **

**On a less serious note... Jasper 'died' right before the first battle of Galveston. **

**Thank you to Elaine, my friend/editor. You da bomb (Don't kill me!). Sorry if you don't like the E/N A/N notes, but in my opinion, they are kinda amusing.)**

**Please R&R.**


	4. Jeopardy!

**No, Jesse isn't a werewolf either... She just likes raw meat (Like me) **

**Disclaimer: Je n'ai pas ****Twilight****, ce n'est pas pour moi!**

(Press the fast forward button to later that night at the Simpson Hotel)

Jesse's POV (This isn't officially the start of the chapter, the chapters start in Jasper's POV)

Oh

My

God.

Oh mein Gott. Ah mi Dios. Oh mon Dieu. Oh o meu dues. O мой бог. **(Oh my God in a bunch of different languages)**

They have COFFEE!!!! SWEEEEEEEET!!!! I quickly brew the entire pot and chug it all. This could come back and bite me in the ass, but I don't care.

Jasper's POV

"_Soldiers I've concluded,  
To make a little song  
And if I tell a falsehood,  
There can be nothing wrong.  
If any be offended at what I have to say,  
Then surely his own conscience applies the bitter sting.  
Oh how do you like this army,  
The brass mounted army.  
Oh how do you like this army,  
Where eagle buttons rule."_  
I listen to my music as I watch as Emmet flips through the channels on the TV.  
**(A/N: By memory AGAIN!)  
****  
(E/N: Memory, huh? Well, here I am listening to the recording of "Brass Mounted Army", and I'm hearing that the chorus goes like this: "Oh, how do you like this army/ the brass mounted army/ THE HIGH FALUTIN ARMY/ where eagle buttons rule. Behold the difference!!! I'm listening to the song right now! I may not know battle dates or important people, but I do know a bit about Civil War music! OH!!!)**

(A/N: Well, at least **I**** knew when STONEWALL JACKSON died, and not "Some Confederate"!!!! Also, if memory serves me, when I first showed you the song, you were singing it **_**"**__**Oh how do you like this army/The brass mounted army/OH HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS ARMY/Where eagle buttons rule."**_ **What now?! And yes, I actually told someone at Outback that I wasn't Ulysses S. Grant when she questioned weather I wanted my steak rare... It isn't just the Golden Corral people)**

"Jeopardy is on!" Emmett exclaims, and everyone rushes in. **(A/N: Woot! Jeopardy!)**

"_Here are the categories:" _ Alex starts to say, _"Battle of Bull Run. Flags. "Un" believable. Greek Gods. Translate the German. States."_ Sweet, I will own all.

"_Let's start with Battle of Bull Run for $100, Alex,"_ one of the contestants announces.

"_Okay, here we go: The first Battle of Bull Run took place in this year."_

"1861!" I say, but I realize I'm not the only one who did, Jesse has said the same thing_._

"_Bull Run for $200."_

"_This was the Southern name for the Battle."_

"Manassas (Junction)!" we both yell again.

"_This man led the Confederate army during the battle."_

"Beauregard!" We both yell again.

"_Both battles of Bull Run were attempts to get to this city, the Confederate capitol."_

"Richmond!" _**(E/N: **__**"Then pull off your overcoat and roll up your sleeve, Manassas is a hard road to travel. Manassas gave us fits and Bull Run made us grieve, for Richmond is a hard road to travel, I believe!")**_

"_This Confederate general got his famous nickname at the First Battle of Bull Run."_

"Thomas 'Stonewall' Jackson!" I shouted, but Jesse shouted, "My great-great-great-great grandfather!" **( E/N: **** "Come, stack arms, men, pile on the rails, stir up the campfire bright. No matter if the canteen fails, we'll make a roaring night. Here Shenandoah brawls along, there burly Blue Ridge echoes strong, to swell the brigade's rousing song of Stonewall Jackson's Way!" Okay, Editor is starting to show off with the memorized-music thing…)**

The game show continues on. **(E/N: Despite the Editor's spontanious-song moments.)**

I look at her.

"What? I didn't tell you?"

"No, actually, you didn't."

"Oh, sorry. I'm a descendant of Stonewall Jackson." She shrugs.

"How come Mr. Yankee doesn't hate you?" I ask her.

"I never bothered to tell him. My parents are obsessed with J's... Jesse James Jackson... Unfair. I'm actually surprised that Mr. Yankee hasn't figured it out yet, there are only so many Jacksons from Shenandoah Valley area."

Suddenly Jesse freezes for half a second and then quickly becomes herself again.

"Hey, you guys have coffee in your room too!" she says.

"So?" Emmett asks.

"Kaffee!!!" she repeats in German.** (Coffee!!!)**

"Someone take the coffee out of the girls' room." I say out loud as Rosalie disappears.

"Too late!" she says as she comes back into the guys' room. "I think she drank it all..."

"Ja tat ich... Und das war gut!" Jesse says. **(Yeah I did... And it was good!)**

"Oh shit!" Linus exclaims.

"What?" Emmett asks.

"The last time she had so much caffeine was on New Year's Eve...she was kicked out of another one of our friends' house..." Linus explains. "Shit shit shit..."

"Shit indeed." I tell him.

"Guys..." my angel starts to say, she is really worried. "Bad news: Mr. Anderson is coming!"

"Shit! We are all supposed to be asleep!" Emmett says. No duh, dumbass, it's quarter to one! **(A/N: Inside joke with the family, our clock broke at 12:45... hehe)**

"Aber ich will nicht schlafen gehen!" Jesse says. **(But I don't want to go to sleep!)**

"I'll give you your iPod if you do!" Linus tells her.

Before we could say a word, Jesse snatches her iPod from Linus and gets into her bed and pretends to be asleep, only after a second I realize that her iPod earphones are in her ear. I watch as Alice and Rosalie run into their room and close both doors. Linus had crawled, literally crawled, into his bed while Alice and Rosalie went into their room. Emmett and I turn off the lights and run into the bed we have to 'share'.

About five minutes passed when our door opens.

"Damn universal pass card." Emmett mumbles at vampire speed to me. I elbow him.

Mr. Yankee makes his way into out room with a pillow in his hand; he walks over to Linus's bed and presses the pillow against Linus's face. Linus starts to struggle and Emmett and I get out of bed and grab Mr. Yankee's arms, lifting him off Linus so the kid can breath. Mr. Yankee mumbles incoherently and his head drops, he is unconscious.

"Dude, I think he was sleep walking!" Emmett whispers.

"I think we should take him back to his room." I tell him as we carry him out and back to his room.

We got back to find Alice sitting in our room.

"He was sleepwalking... He won't remember anything... Let's keep it that way," she says and she walks back into her room.

The Next Morning!!!!

**(A/N: This iPod thing is based on true events, I fell asleep with my MP3 in and it was stuck in Sweeney Todd: Epiphany)**

"Wake up!" Emmett yells loud enough for the humans to wake up to... two floors up. Linus wakes up and Jesse mumbles something around the lines of "Fuck you let me sleep." Linus walks over to her and sits on her back.

"They all deserve to die..." she mumbled to low for Linus to hear, we all gave worried glances.

"Jesse wake up or el-" Linus starts to say, but Jesse turned to her side, thus knocking Linus off of her bead.

"Jesse! Wake UP!" Linus pulls her off of her bed.

"Oomph! We all deserve to die!" She says, this time loud enough for us all to hear.

"Is she being a little emo today?" I ask Linus.

"Hey! You two can make the emo club!" Emmett bursts out.

Linus picked up her iPod, "Nope, it was just her iPod... It was stuck on 'Epiphany' from Sweeney Todd. She will snap out of it in a bit."

"Hey y'all, what's up? I'm hungry, when's breakfast?" Jesse asks.

"In about... Now." Emmett tells her as we all start to walk downstairs to breakfast.

At the breakfast table...

"Oh my God! They have biscuits!" Jesse exclaims.

"So?" Rosalie asks.

"_Why it's the biscuit made the trouble,  
put the crackers in a package, in a  
package, the biscuit in an airtight  
sanitary package, made the cracker barrel  
obsolete, obsolete Obsolete! Obsolete!"_ Jesse starts to sing _"Rock Island" _From the Music Man.

"Is she still on her caffeine high?" I ask.

"Oh yes. This is crazy... Even for her." He tells me.

**A/N: Thank you all for reading, please review and I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter to come up (and the fact that it doesn't have to do with a stubborn history teacher that much) I was trying to get the basis of a character, and add a little humor into it... We will be at the Lincoln Museum next chapter, and then back to the normal classroom after that... I hope, I MIGHT go to the Lincoln Tomb. Anyway, please read the Editor's Note and review.**

E/N: Caffiene high. Ha ha. I went on the Springfield trip that this story is based off of, and I spent three whole days on a sugar-and-caffiene high. And music. I can get high off music. By the way, there were no vampires on the actual trip. That we know of.

A/N (again): Remember, the more people review... the happier I am and the faster I update (When I can so don't kill me if I don't get a new one in this next few days...)

**REVIEW PLEASE!!!!! I CANNOT EMPHISIZE THAT ENOUGH!!!  
YOU DON'T NEED AN ACCOUNT! JUST PRESS THE REVIEW BUTTON AND PUT YOUR NAME!!!**


	5. The Lincoln Museum

**I'm sorry it took me so long to update! I had a much more bigger priority on my list, but now it is done, and basketball season is over so I have MUCH more time to write... For the moment**

**I AM A CIVIL WAR NERD! DEAL WITH IT! I MADE A LIST OF WAYS TO TELL IF YOU ARE ONE TOO. IF YOU WANT TO SEE IT REVIEW AND TELL ME... I WILL PM YOU IT!!!**

**The things in the Lincoln Museum are taken by my memory... Sorry if I make a mistake**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Lincoln Museum, if I did, there would be mayor changes. Also, I don't own ****Twilight****, Bobby Horton's "Homespun Songs of the C.S.A" (Though I have legally purchased two of his six volumes), or "Once Upon a Mattress"**

**If I haven't already mentioned this... ****Jesse isn't a werewolf either.**

Jasper's POV

"_I'll place my knapsack on my back,  
My rifle on my shoulder,  
I'll march away to the firing line,  
And kill that Yankee soldier,  
And kill that Yankee soldier,  
I'll march away to the firing line,  
And kill that Yankee soldier. _

_I'll bid farewell to my wife and child  
Farewell to my aged mother,  
And go and join in the bloody strife,  
Till this cruel war is over,  
Till this cruel war is over,  
I'll go and join in the bloody strife,  
Till this cruel war is over. _

_If I am shot on the battlefield,  
And I should not recover,  
Oh, who will protect my wife and child,  
And care for my aged mother?  
And care for my aged mother,  
Oh, who will protect my wife and child,  
And care for my aged mother? _

_And if our Southern cause is lost,  
And Southern rights denied us,  
We'll be ground beneath the tyrant's heel,  
For our demands of justice,  
For our demands of justice,  
We'll be ground beneath the tyrant's heel,  
For our demands of justice. _

_Before the South shall bow her head,  
Before the tyrants harm us,  
I'll give my all to the Southern cause,  
And die in the Southern army,  
And die in the Southern army,  
I'll give my all to the Southern cause,  
And die in the Southern army. _

_If I must die for my home and land,  
My spirit will not falter,  
Oh, here's my heart and here's my hand,  
Upon my country's altar,  
Upon my country's altar,  
Oh, here's my heart and here's my hand, Upon my country's altar. _

_Then Heaven be with us in the strife,  
Be with the Southern soldier,  
We'll drive the mercenary horde,  
Beyond our Southern border,  
Beyond our Southern border,  
We'll drive the mercenary horde,  
Beyond our Southern border."_

Jesse is singing on the bus. Her alto voice would make a great Minstrel or Jester in "Once Upon a Mattress."

_(Editor's note: The author is annoyed because she did not get the role she wanted in our school musical, "Once Upon a Mattress," which is a parody of the Princess and the Pea. She wanted to be the Minstrel or the Jester, but ended up in the chorus, which annoyed us even more because all the lead roles went to SEVENTH GRADERS, when eighth graders rightfully should have received priority. She quit the musical.)_

_(Another editor's note: ALTOS ROCK!!!)_

Sadly, she still hasn't told me what is wrong with the Lincoln Museum, and Edward won't tell me what's wrong with it either, so I'm going into it totally blind.

"What are you singing?!" Mr. Anderson asks Jesse angrily.

"'The Southern Soldier'," she responds innocently.

"Why are you singing it?" he questions.

"Because it's good music," Jesse says.

"No, it is not. That music is awful and I will not have it be sung or spoken on this bus. If I catch you singing it again you will be put into detention for two weeks!" Mr. Yankee declares.

"Ummm, Mr. Yank- I mean Mr. Anderson, I think that that music is good too," I say. Mr. Yankee glares at me.

"What did you call me?" he almost shouts.

"Mr. Anderson," I reply smoothly.

"No, you were about to call me something different. What was it?" he asks again.

"I wasn't," I tell him again, and he walks away.

"Like I said before...don't call him that in front of his face," Jesse tells me. The bus turns suddenly and Jesse falls off the seat.

"I swear, it is the country music she listens to...that stuff isn't good for you," Linus teases her.

_(E/N: He did NOT just insult country music!! Who does he think he is?!?!?! What a jerk.)_

"Oh yeah," Jesse starts, "Like 'The Blow Job Song,' or 'I Think You're a Nazi' is any better."  
**(A/N: Yeah...my friend listens to that music. Ignore it.)**

We all look at him with worry. "Hey, that's good music!" he defends.

"At least country music has a story behind it!"

"And my music doesn't?"

"_All I want  
Is to get a blow job.  
All I want  
Is to get a blow job,_" she sings. "Yeah...great story behind _that_."

"Well at least Miley Cyrus-" Linus hadn't had a chance to finish his sentence. Jesse slaps him across the face so hard, her hand is starting to turn red.

"Miley Cyrus _does NOT _sing country music!" she tells him and then she falls silent towards him.

"Jesse... _Jesse_, come on! I didn't mean it!" Linus starts to wine, but it falls on deaf ears. Jesse has a perfect mask of uncaring-ness, and her emotions are full of rage. She puts in her ear phones and starts to blast music.

Emmett taps her on the shoulder. "What are you listening to?" he asks.

"Why," she tells him.

"Because I want to know... What are you listening to?"

"Why," she tells him again.

"_Come on!_ Can't you just tell me!"

"_Why!_"

"_BECAUSE!_" Emmett exclaims. "Just tell me!!"

"_**WHY!**_" She keeps telling him. Emmett, getting too annoyed for words, snatches Jesse's iPod from her and looks at the name of the song.

"Why," he says out loud. "Why...the name of the song is 'Why'..."

_(E/N: Great song, by the way. If you readers haven't heard it, go listen to it. NOW. NOW!)_

"Yeah, by the Rascal Flatts."

"I hate you...so much," Emmett tells her.

"The feeling is mutual. OH! WE ARE HERE!!!!!!!!" Jesse yells.

"Yay!" Linus says.

Jesse looks at him. "I'm still not talking to you." She turns away from him.

Mr. Yankee comes and divides us into groups: Emmett, Jesse, a bunch of humans (including Prissy Bitch), and me in one group. Alice, Edward, and a bunch of humans in another group, and Emmett, Rosalie, Linus, and a bunch of humans in a third group.

"Ok, class. The first thing we are all going to do is go into the theater and watch a movie on Abraham Lincoln. Come on," Mr. Yankee announces to us all.

"I don't have a good feeling about this..." I mumble. We all walk into the theater and sit down in the chairs, then the man started to say...

**(A/N: I'm going by what memory I have... though I tried to forget)**

_(E/N: Don't worry! Editor with a mostly-photographic memory who has been to Springfield and seen the Lincoln Museum movie twice can help you!)_

"_Abraham Lincoln_... _Notice in the picture how his left eye drifts off to the side a little bit, that is because when he was little, a horse kicked him in the head... Had that horse kicked him any harder, then we wouldn't have had such a great president..."_

"If only that horse had kicked him a little harder... If only..." I mumble to myself. Jesse hears what I said and starts laughing.

"Quiet, you two, and watch the movie!" Mr. Yankee hushes us.

"_... Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves from their southern masters..."_

"Liars." Jesse whispers. This little game of correcting the people in the movie continues until the screen goes blank.

_(E/N: And seeing that movie once was enough!)_

"Now, class," Mr. Yankee starts to say when we all walk out of the theater, "Let's review a little...I'll start easy. Did Abraham Lincoln free the slaves?" Jesse's hand shoots up along with mine. "Yes, Jesse?"

"No, he did not. The Emancipation Proclamation Lincoln passed had no control over the Confederacy, because it was its own country at the time, and Lincoln conveniently left out the border states. And the 13th amendment was passed in December, about 8 months after Lincoln died," she tells him plainly and simply. Mr. Yankee couldn't respond to that...he just stopped calling on the two of us.

Finally, Mr. Yankee ushers us across the rotunda and into another theater, where they are showing a movie about the library when no one is there... **(A/N: SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT) **Finally when the ghost person fades away with _'The Battle Hymn of the Republic'_ playing in the background, we leave the theater again. I can hear Jesse singing to herself as she is leaving.

"_Look away, look away, look away, Dixie Land,"_ she is singing.

"What are you singing?" Mr. Yankee interrogates.

"Ummm... The Battle Hymn of the Republic?" Jesse asks.

"I _told_ you... If I heard you singing a song like that one more time, then you would have two weeks detention... That's it! Detention! Two weeks! And if I catch you singing it again I will make it three weeks!" Mr. Yankee punishes. Jesse walks towards me.

"Well... This trip stinks..." she tells me and walks away.

**(A/N: Well, I'm so sorry if you wanted more... But that wraps up the Springfield trip... We are going back to the normal class room... **

**Happy Belated Robert E. Lee day to everyone! *January 19****th***** **

**I wish to announce a few birthdays to everyone:**

**-Robert E. Lee's birthday on January 19****th****  
-Stonewall Jackson's birthday on January 21****st****  
-George Pickett's birthday on January 28****th  
****-William T. Sherman's birthday on February 8****th**

**All kinds of reviews are allowed, flames included.)**


	6. Who's Raping Rascal Flatts?

**Hey y'all, member me? Sorry it took so long for me to update, I've just been REALLY busy, so has my editor, so she can vouch for me. Anyway, thanks to you all for sticking with me! ILY!**

_**Editor's note (from now on abbreviated as E/N) Yes, I have been busy. So has the author, Mandi. When you're taking final exams and graduating from eighth grade, you don't have a lot of spare time on your hands. Enjoy the story! **_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

Jasper's POV

"_We are a band of brothers, and native to the soil,_  
_Fighting for our liberty with treasure, blood, and toil._  
_And when our rights are threatened, the cry rose near and far:_  
_'Hurrah for the bonnie blue flag that bears a single star!'_  
_"Hurrah, hurrah, for Southern rights, hurrah!_  
_Hurrah for the bonnie blue flag that bears a single star!" _I hum as I walk into history class. Jesse walks up to me and smacks me in the back of the head for no apparent reason.

**(A/N: Thank you Elaine, *I was too lazy to actually type out the song lyrics*)**

"Owww! Damn it!" She swears and nurses her hand. "That hurt!"

"No frickin' duh!" I tell her. "I'm hard as stone!"

She looks at me for a second, trying to hide the smile appearing on her face, but cracks. She starts laughing.

"What?" I ask her.

She composes herself a bit, enough to talk. "Get into my mind frame."

"Immature? A psychopath? or a sadist?" I ask her, naming off the most prominent features of her personality.

"The first one." I nod as she answers, "Now think about what you just said."

The thought hits me and I start to laugh a little. "God, you are so weird."

"Ain't that the tru-" She starts to say, but before she can finish _truth_ the bell rings. We walk into the history classroom and sit at "The Cullen/Hale table" plus a Jackson.

Mr. Yankee walks in and starts to give his lecture, "Now class, we will be going over the two armies in general today. Now, overall, the North had better moral values than the South, especially the generals-"

I start to get annoyed by this, but Jesse is furious. Note to self: If a girl is related to a famous general in history, and is proud of said general, don't and I mean DON'T insult that general on pain of death.

Jesse doesn't bother to raise her hand. "I disagree with you."

Mr. Yankee does a double take, probably expecting me to be the one to say that.

"Yes, he was," Edward tells me.

"Excuse me, Jesse?" he asks.

"I'm going to compare the two most known generals during the Civil War, Ulysses S. Grant and Robert E. Lee," she starts. "Ulysses S. Grant smoked, he was a drunk, he swore, and he actually owned a slave for a bit. While Robert E. Lee—the _Confederate_ general—never swore, never drank, never smoked, and when he acquired slaves from his father-in-law, he freed them _immediately_. Now, which one of the two do you think has better moral values?"

"Don't screw with her, she's smart." my sweet angel says quietly to Edward, Emmett, Rosalie and I.

"Damn, I thought I was the only one who knew that!" I tell them.

Mr. Yankee is silent for a bit, and then composes himself rather quickly, "I want you to write me a five page essay on why that is a lie, it will count for half your homework grade, and then turn it in to me on Friday. Now, sit back down like a good little girl and I don't want to hear your voice again during this class."

Jesse slowly sits back down, giving Mr. Yankee the dirtiest look she can muster. Which, might I say, is a pretty dirty look. It would make half the Confederate army and 99.9% of the union army shit themselves.

**(A/N: Love that quote BTW. I call it a 'Jackson glare' that is why it doesn't effect the Confeddies *I make up a nickname for the Confederate soldiers* as much as the Yankees... and the fact that the Confeddies are braver.)**

_**(Editor's note: She texted me that quote twice. That's how much she loves it.)**_

"Anyway...on with the discussion..." Mr. Yankee droned on.

At the end of his lecture that was full of dirty Yankee lies, Jesse raised her hand. "Is this related to the Civil War at all?" Mr. Yankee asks.

"No sir, but it is related to school," Jesse responds.

"Then _what_?"

"I'm not going to be here tomorrow, or all this week..."

"Why?"

"I'm going to Tennessee to visit some relatives."

"Well... Okay, ask people for homework," he says as the bell rings.

**(A/N: Up until Jesse says "Whipped" the following conversation is an actual conversation [with minor tweaks to fit the story, such as the reason why Jesse abducts Jay DeMarcus, Gary LeVox, or Joe Don Rooney *real reason will be in authors note the end*] between yours truly and the editor-Elaine. Enjoy.) **

_**E/N: If we care about the well-being of our country stars, we will keep Mandi away from them. Also if we do not want them abducted and/or held for ransom…**_

"What part of Tennessee?" I ask as we sit down with our lunches.

"Near Shiloh, but we are spending a day in Nashville."

"Cool. What happens if you see someone from Rascal Flatts randomly walking down the street in Nashville? Wait, Nashville is the country music capital, right?" Emmett asks, for no apparent reason.

Jesse smiles, "Yes, it is. And if we are in a car, I will beg my aunt to let me out, then I'll run up to one of the three and hug him almost to death."

"_Almost_ to death?" Edward asks.

"Well, not to death, 'cuz then he'd be dead! Oh yeah, also I would ask for an autograph." Jesse smiles smugly.

"What if they deny your request of an autograph?" Linus asks, walking up to us.

"Then I will force whoever it is into my aunt's Prius and hold him hostage until he gives me an autograph!" Jesse slams her fist on the table, thus spilling her soda, "God damn it!"

It was quiet for a moment until Linus says, "Sadly, I can actually see you doing that...and then getting arrested."

"No, I wouldn't get arrested. Because if I did I could easily break out—I got connections within—and then I would come back and rape them."

**(A/N: I did NOT EVER SAY OR DO THAT! I SWEAR I WON'T EVER RAPE RASCAL FLATTS! It is just something my friend from softball likes to say to threaten people) **

_**E/N: WTF?**_

"You frighten me. More than Maria," I say.

"Who's Maria?" Jesse asks.

"Nobody, don't worry," Eddie answers for me.

Alice's face goes blank, but nobody other than Eddie and me notice. Once Alice comes back to reality, she and Edward start giggling. I look at her questionably, and Alice gives me the look that says _you will find out soon_.

"I also plan on playing ding-dong-ditch at Kenny Chesney's house while I'm there."

"Wasn't his house condemned?" Linus shoots down.

"DAMNIT! STUPID RAIN! IT AIN'T A GOOD THANG!" Jesse yells.

**(A/N: "Cuz where I come from- Rain is a good thang. Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey, whiskey makes my baby feel a little frisky...")**

"No more CMT for you." Linus says.

"Wha-"

"Or GAC."

"Damn you."

"Love you too."

"Get me another soda." Jesse demands. Linus goes and gets her another soda, "Whipped." Jesse says as he walks away. The bell rings signaling the end of lunch.

"See ya at detention!" Jesse says as she walks away with Linus (who has a grape soda for Jesse), "OMYGOD!#$#! They have grape soda?" I hear as the two walk to their next class, Videography, I believe.

**(A/N: Skipping to detention)**

Jesse walks into detention, late, and hands Mr. Yankee a slip of paper. She angrily walks over to me as Mr. Yankee reads the paper. Jesse sits down just as Mr. Yankee looks up.

"Move away from him, go to the other corner of the room." He demands. Jesse, surprisingly, does as she's told, "Now, Jesse, I believe you have an essay to write for me. And Jasper, you still have to write _'The Confederacy fought for slavery'_ a hundred times. Get to it."

Jesse sits down and starts writing...and talking to herself? Her lips are moving, forming words.

"_Ya get your house back  
Ya get your dog back  
Ya get your best friend Jack back  
Ya get your truck back  
Ya get your hair back  
Ya get your first and second wives back  
Your front porch swing  
Your pretty little thing  
Your bling, bling, bling  
And a diamond ring  
Ya get your farm and the barn and the boat and the Harley  
First night in jail with Charlie.  
It sounds a little crazy,  
A little scattered and absurd-  
But that's what ya get when ya play a country song backwards"_ she is mouthing.

_**E/N: OMG, I love that song! "Backwards" by Rascal Flatts, for those of our readers who live under a rock with no access to television, internet, or good music.**_

That's when I notice the flesh toned ear buds. _Genius, manipulating, confusing, smart, evil, demonic human being._ Mr. Yankee coughs loudly, annoyance coming off him in waves, I start to look like I'm actually doing work.

Finally after a looooong hour of detention…we are released.

"Why were you late?" I ask her as we walk over to study hall.

"Principal wanted to see me."

"Why?"

"She thought I was depressed."

"Why?"

"Because if my Videography project. I did it on a depressing song with depressing pictures and the teacher told the principal."

_**E/N: I'm sure you'll all love to know that this really happened to Mandi! For videography class, we had to make a presentation putting pictures to music. She used the song "Why" by Rascal Flatts (a nice song about a guy whose best friend commits suicide) and chose pictures that fit the lyrics, including a warning at the beginning that her video presentation was "rated PG-13 for potentially disturbing content." The principal talked to her just to make sure she wasn't depressed. **_

I try not to laugh, because Jesse is _very_ annoyed because of it. Suddenly, a voice comes on over the loudspeakers: "Would all the freshmen please report to the auditorium. All freshmen to the auditorium."

"Ummm... Okay..." Jesse says, "TO THE AUDITORIUM! BUM BA DA BUMMM!" and she takes of running, like a superhero. What the fuck did her mom do when she was pregnant with Jesse?

"Heroin, is my guess," Eddie says as he walks up behind me. "How was detention? And don't call me Eddie."

Eddie and I walk int-

"What did I say about calling me Eddie!"

Sorry, _mother_. PMS much? Anyway, _EDDIE_ and I were walking into the auditorium. Jesse had saved seats for all of us.

"Class," The principal started, "Next Friday, the freshman class will be having a 'Civil War Ball.' Ladies, you are required to wear authentic- or close to authentic- Civil War era dresses. And boys, you are required to wear uniforms of either the Union or the Confederacy. There will be a 'Best Costume Contest.' Whichever lady has the most authentic dress, and whichever man has the most authentic uniform will win five homework passes. There will be different contests for the North and the South. There will be authentic Civil War era food, music, and lots of other cool stuff to look forward to. You are all dismissed from school early today, we will go more in depth tomorrow, though I know some of you won't be here."

"You looking forward to that?" I ask everyone as we leave.

There were three "Meh"s from Emmett, Eddie, and Rosalie.

"Don't call me Eddi-"

"Edward, who gives a shit besides you?" Jesse snaps.

"You ain't lookin' forward to the dance?" Linus asks Jesse.

"Well, I am, cuz it would be really cool! But... But..." Jesse can't complete the sentence.

"But what? It will be a lot of fun! Let me make your dress, Jasper could help with authenticity!" Alice says.

"That's it... Dresses... Can't I be one of the girls who dressed up as a guy and joined the army? I can make a great Stonewall Jackson!" Jesse begs.

"Sorry Jesse, but girls are _required _to wear dresses. Sorry," Linus says. "See you guys tomorrow, except you, Jesse. Have fun raping Rascal Flatts and playing ding-dong-ditch with Trace Atkins."

"Oh, hell no! I won't rape anyone from Rascal Flatts unless they arrest me first. And Trace Atkins scares me... I'll play ding-dong-ditch with Brad Paisley, if I get caught, he'll take it nicely... I hope..." Jesse corrects her friend as she walks away, "See y'all on Monday!" she calls as she makes a turn in the road.

**(A/N: Well, do y'all forgive me? SORRY! ='(  
Okay, with the whole "shoving one of the guys from Rascal Flatts into a Prius and holding them hostage ..." thing: I am a HUGE Rascal Flatts fan! They are my favorite country band! But when they come to Illinois in August, I'm gonna be in Virginia with my school! ='( So while planning a trip to Tennessee (Shiloh or bust, baby!) with my editor/close friend, Elaine, we were joking that **_**if**_** we saw someone from Rascal Flatts (i.e. Jay DeMarcus, Gary LeVox, or Joe Don Rooney) in Nashville I would hug them almost to death, but not to death, because then they would be dead. Also I would take them hostage in her parents' Prius until they changed the concert date to something I could go to! So that is the story behind the joke.)**

_**E/N: Yeah, that's the story. And Mandi? Just so you know, we're taking the Pathfinder, not the Prius. By the way, I don't think Brad Paisley will mind anyone playing ding-dong-ditch at his house. A person who makes a music video about an overweight Star Wars obsessed tuba player pretending to be him on Facebook ("Online") …I don't think he'll mind random people ringing his doorbell. You can just tell he has a sense of humor.**_

_**TENNESSEE HERE WE COME!**_

**A/N: Yes, I'm pretty sure he [Brad Paisley] does…**


	7. No Jesse Makes Life Dull

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Twilight characters.**

**My bedroom is no longer looks like a bomb went off in it! YAY!**

**Congrats to Jay DeMarcus (he is going to be a daddy)! Joe Don already had a kid so it isn't as important (but congrats to Joe Don Rooney too)... **

**Happy 40****th**** birthday to Gary LeVox (Rascal Flatts' lead singer)**

**This chapter is going to be kinda short. Sorry.**

_**I have ye a proposition... I have planned out chapter titles (and plan to use them in that order). AND THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL! I will show you the planned chapter titles IF you can guess my favorite guy from Rascal Flatts. PM me if you think you know who. Then I will PM you back: If you are right then you get the chapter list, if you are wrong, then I will say no. I will post who my favorite is next chapter.**_

Jasper's POV

_Our flag is proudly floating on the land and on the main.  
Shout, shout the battle cry of freedom!  
Beneath it oft we've conquer'd and will conquer oft again.  
Shout, shout the battle cry of freedom!  
Our Dixie forever! She's never at a loss!  
Down with the eagle and up with the cross!  
We will rally 'round the bonnie flag, we'll rally once again.  
Shout, shout the battle cry of freedom!_

"Battle Cry of Freedom" plays in my head as Alice, Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, and I walk in to history class. The past few days have been dull with no Jesse. Linus looks as if he is going to die if she doesn't come back. We sit down and wait for Mr. Yankee to enter.

He comes in about 34 seconds later, holding a big stack of papers.

"Pop quiz." Eddie mouths to us.

"Class, today I have a surprise for you all, a POP QUIZ!" he states enthusiastically. The response from the class is a mix of groans and questions of "why?" Mr. Yankee hands out the papers to us and tells us to "shut up and do the quiz!"

I look down at the quiz. And, for once, I do what he says.

**What year did the Civil War start and end?**

_Not enough information given. Which Civil War? Because the English Civil War lasted from 1642-1651_

**Who was the General of the Confederate army?**

_Not enough information given. Which general? General Bee was the one who gave General Jackson his famous nickname "Stonewall Jackson."_

**Who was the General of the Union Army?**

_Not enough information given. Which general? Because General Sherman is the one who said: "War is hell."_

**What was the American Civil War about?**

_Confederate independence from ya dirty lying Yankees._

I turn my quiz in confidently. Confident that I will fail proudly. And I don't give a shit if I fail Civil War history class. At all. Because I'm the first person done, I have to "shut up until everyone else was done." So I check my phone. I have a text message from Jesse:

"_Score! I got Jay DeMarcus! I hugged him and he gave me an autograph without me shoving him into my aunt's Prius!_" Attached was a picture of her and DeMarcus.  
**(A/N: Is it sad that it took me 10 tries to spell "Picture"?)**  
_**(E/N: Yes, that is very sad. I'm crying a little just thinking about it.)**_

She sent the message five minutes ago. I send back:

"_Good 4 you. Text me if you get someone else._"

I look up from my phone and see that Alice, Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, and some other humans have turned in their quiz. Suddenly my phone buzzes, it's a text from Jesse again:

"_Literally ran into Gary LeVox. Got a hug, a picture, and an autograph."_

I send back: "_What do you mean LITERALLY?_"

She sends: "_I was walking backwards, talking 2 my cousin. I guess LeVox wasn't looking where he was going either, cause I backed up into him... He fell to the ground and I ALMOST fell on top of him (which would have looked like I was sitting on him), but my cousin caught me before I did. I said sorry... A lot.. He was very nice, and was laughing. He gave me a hug and an autograph. I wished him a happy 40__th__ birthday and left... Now the only one left is Joe Don Rooney..._"

"_Have fun with that._"

It is quite comical seeing Jesse collide with the lead singer in her favorite band. Mr. Yankee started to tell us about a big essay that is due at the end of the year about some aspect of the Civil War. At the end of his lecture, the bell rings, signaling the end of school.

**A/N: I KNOW that this chapter is short! SORRY! Jesse comes back next chapter. DON'T FORGET THE PROPOSITION!PLEASE!**

**Love y'all from Rascal Flatts, you guys rock! And if by any chance you are reading this. Don't hate me. Please. It's a joke.** **BTW: HAPPY 40****th**** BIRTHDAY, GARY (July, 10)**

_**E/N: Everybody can be looking forward to the next chapter. I won't spoil anything, but it will be VERY VERY VERY…uh…how do I say this…INTERESTING. And funny, in a really screwed up came up with the idea for it sitting in a hotel room in Nashville around 11:30 at night, and I think I was drunk off iced tea. Don't ask how that's possible. (The little light thingy on the smoke alarm was green and it suddenly turned red and it freaked me out!) By the way, Jesse does meet Joe Don Rooney… **_

**Review please!**


	8. It's Only Rape If He Says No

**I don't mean any offense to Joe Don Rooney, his family, or to anyone associated with him in general. This came out of a random conversation me and my editor came up with while in Nashville.**

_**E/N: I've finally edited this, Mandi, a long FOURTEEN HOURS after you sent it to me and texted me FOUR TIMES asking me if I'd gotten the story yet. Oh, wait, make that FIVE TIMES, because you just texted me RIGHT NOW. I'm sorry I could not edit this the moment it appeared in my email inbox, because at that moment I believe I was AT AN INDIGO GIRLS CONCERT! (AND IT WAS AWESOME!) And of course going to my favorite favorite favorite favorite favorite band's concert is about FIFTY MILLION TIMES MORE IMPORTANT than EDITING YOUR STORY, especially when I got home at 11:30 with a sore throat because I was cheering louder than anyone else there. No offense to your story, but I have my priorities, and in this case it was not one of them. **_

******For y'all who TRIED to guess... a pat on the back... Because I am feeling generous, I am going to give you a hint. He is one of three people: Gary LeVox, Jay DeMarcus, or Joe Don Rooney. guess away.******

"_There's a yellow rose in Texas that I am gonna see.  
No other soldier knows her, no soldier, only me.  
She cried so when I left her, it like to broke my heart,  
and if I ever find her, we never more will part."_

"Yellow Rose of Texas" was playing on my iPod when we saw Jesse at school today, with a _very _satisfied smile plastered on her face.

"Who'd you find?" Emmett asks.

"All three. I win." Jesse replies.

"What?" Emmett asks.

"I met all three of the guys from Rascal Flatts. And I hugged them all," She smiles a bit, "_And_ I got their autograph. _And_ I literally ran into Gary LeVox on his birthday, and-"  
**(A/N: Forgot to mention this… I AM WELL AWARE THAT THE DATE IS SKIPPING AROUND A LOT. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO NOTICED, GOOD JOB! NOW IGNORE IT!) **

_**E/N: I am the editor! Ignoring things is not my job!**_

"How did you LITERALLY run into him?" Emmett asks.

"I was walking backwards on a street in Nashville, serenading my cousin with _Bless the Broken Road._ Then I hit Gary LeVox while he was walking down the street."  
**(A/N: based on a somewhat true story... I was at the mall with my friend and I **_**was**_** serenading her with **_**Bless the Broken Road**_** and I ran into a guy while walking backwards. I did end up sitting on him.)**

_**E/N: Nice…**_

"Hey everyone. JESSE! YOU'RE BACK!" Linus ejaculates.  
**(A/N: in Harry Potter, ejaculated is used as a way to say exclaimed, so I will use it from now on.)**

_**E/N: It technically does mean **_**exclaimed**_**, so I really don't know why it's so hard not to laugh in a very immature way right now.**_

"Yes I am, so what did I miss?"

"You missed a pop quiz from Mr. Yankee." Linus states.

"Shit…" Jesse whines.

"You're screwed," I state.

"No, I _was_," Jesse says. We all start laughing, except for Jesse.

"Wait, you're serious?" Rosalie questions.

"Yes, I am."

"You're bluffing," I accuse.

"No...no, she's not," Edward clears up.

"What did you do?" Linus inquires.

"I think you mean 'who' did I do," Jesse jokes.

"Fine, who?" Emmett asks.

"Edward, you say," Jesse demands, unable to bring herself to say.

"Joe Don Rooney. Wait, isn't he married?"

"What? Celebrities can't have hookers once and a while?"

"You're a hooker?" Linus exclaims.

"No, but convincing someone that you are 18 isn't that difficult. Especially if your cousin, who you look a lot like, is 18."

"I hope he was wearing a condom," Alice states.

"Oops."

"Name it after me!" Emmett demands.

"Too late, my cousin already called it. She said 'Jesse, I'll only cover for you if you be safe or name it after me.'" Jesse says, mimicking her cousin's voice.

"Your cousin is awesome," I say.

"You know it," Jesse laughs.

"JESSE! Front and center. You need to take a makeup quiz," Mr. Yankee says, coming out of an office.

"Sir yes sir!" Jesse yells and salutes him. He glares at her and then she follows him. After she leaves, Emmett asks something.

"Was she seriously serious about doing the guy?" he asks Eddie.

"Yea…" Eddie says, shuddering.

"Damn..."

"Remind me to bleach my brain when we get home," Edward says.

_**E/N: Great quote… "I need to bleach my brain…" I love it…**_

Jesse's POV

I hate Mr. Yankee. So much. It pains me how much I do hate him.

"Well, Jesse, this quiz is short. It's only four questions. So get them right," Mr. Yankee tells me as he slams down the quiz on the desk. Great. Have I failed to mention I have a headache and I feel sick? Well, I do.

**How long did the Civil War last?  
**_1861-1865_

**Who was the general of the Confederate army?  
**_General Thomas J. "Stonewall" Jackson was a general in the Confederate army._

**Who was the general of the Union army?**  
_General William T. Sherman was a general in the union army._

**What was the Civil War about?  
**_Confederate independence._

I hand my quiz into Mr. Yankee and walk out the door to get lunch. As soon as I sit down, I lose all appetite I just had and I start to get nauseous.  
**(A/N: Morning sickness, per say.)  
(A/N-Editor: I used per say correctly, right?) **_**E/N: Not really. It means **_**for example**_**. Unless that's what you meant, of course.**_

Jasper's POV

As Jesse sat down, I can tell something is wrong. She lost a couple of shades and her normally tan skin turned a sickly pale.

"Jesse... Jesse... Jesse James!" Linus tries to get her attention. When she looks he says, "You okay?"

"Yeah...ugh, I shouldn't have eaten that Dorito off the sidewalk..." She moans and her stomach gurgles.

"EW! The one on the corner of Parker and National?" Alice asks.

"Yeah...that one."

"EEWW! That has been there since you left! Why would you eat it?" Rosalie exclaims.

_**E/N: Because we all totally record the location of every Dorito we see on the sidewalk, along with the date it appeared there…**_

"It has? God, if I knew that then I wouldn't have eaten it! My cousin dared me to..." Jesse exclaims.

"Your...cousin...the same one from Nashville?" Linus asks. "'Cause I don't remember you having any other cousins."

"Yeah, the one from Nashville...a fire destroyed their house. A fire that may or may not have been accidentally started by me." She explains quickly.  
**(A/N: oops) **_**E/N: Nice job, Jesse…BTW, I changed the wording of that sentence because you made it sound like Jesse may or may not have accidentally started a house. Whatever that means.**_

"Nice. Did you try cooking?" Linus asks.

"Maybe...if you guys wanna meet her, she's coming to pick me up today."

"Oh no you don't!" Alice yells. "Remember, you're coming to our house to get your dress for the dance made!"

"Well, can she come too?" Jesse asks. "Me and her are supposed to go 'bond' together."

"Okay, fine. I don't see an issue with it!" Alice replies simply.

"Damn, I thought you'd say no," Jesse swears.

"If you don't put up too much of a fuss, then I have a surprise for you...I know you'll like it..." Alice bribes. God! I almost forgot about that!

_Wait, isn't that Jesse's birthday gift?_ I think to Edward. He shrugs.

"Yeah, but Alice will give it to her even if she pitches a fit...it'll make her behave more," Edward mumbles at a level and speed that only vampires can hear.

"What is it?" Jesse asks.

"I can't tell you, but I know that you'll LOVE it," Alice taunts.

"Come on, pleeeeeeeeeease tell me! Or at least give me a hint!" Jesse begs.

_HA! For once she is at our mercy, not the other way around! _I think. Edward laughs for a second.

"Fine, one hint. It has-" but Alice was cut off mid-sentence because the bell rang, starting history class. "Oops, sorry, Jesse. Guess you'll have to wait."

We walk into history class and sit down. Jesse makes a note to be as far away from Mr. Yankee as physically possible while still sitting at our table, which isn't that much of an issue considering our table is in the far corner of the room.

"Well, class, it appears we have a smart-ass in our midst. This person decided to claim there was 'not enough information given' to answer the question correctly." Mr. Yankee slams my quiz on the table, "That person will have to write a five page essay about what the _American_ Civil War was about: freeing the slaves. Due next Monday. Now, if you will please turn to page 345..." Mr. Yankee starts to drone on into his lesson.

Jesse and Alice are passing notes. Well, Jesse is just underlining a word and Alice is shaking her head. I look at the paper and the only word there is _please _and it has been underlined about a hundred times.

When the bell rings, signaling the end of the school day, Jesse is the first one out of the door, followed by Alice. By the time we all get into the parking lot, Alice, Jesse, and her cousin are laughing together in front of a green Toyota. Jesse looks over and gestures for us to come over.

"Hey y'all, this is my cousin, Nicole. But everyone calls her Nick," Jesse says quickly.

"Hey. As my lil' coz said: I'm Nick. Nice to meet y'all." Nick reaches her hand out and we all shake hands.

"Well, I hope you don't mind spending your 'bonding time' with your cousin at our house with her getting a dress made for her," Edward tells her.

"Ooooh, a dress. For what?" Nick teases Jesse.

"A dance that I can't get out of. And they are bribing me with something, and I don't know what! They say I'll love it, though," Jesse explains.

"I think I know what it is," Nick says after thinking for a minute.

"Well, you will see if you're right on the way to our house. I'll come with you and give you directions. Jesse, you go with everyone else." Alice explains.

We all get into the cars and we start off—at a normal speed—towards our house.

"Got Jesse, on the way. Her cousin is coming too. Act human." I text Carlisle and Esme and I flip my phone closed.

**(A/N: Again, I don't mean any offense to Joe Don Rooney, his family, or to anyone associated with him in general. This came out of a random conversation me and my editor came up with whistle in Nashville. It went along the lines of this:**

**(M= Me (Mandi) E=Editor (Elaine))  
M: The couple next to us is having sex...  
E: How do you know?  
M: You can hear it when you pass in front of their door... I bet it's someone with a hooker... Maybe a celebrity  
E: Well, we are in Nashville, I bet it's a country star.  
M: IT'S JOE DON ROONEY!  
E: WTF?  
*At breakfast the next morning, we were half expecting Rooney to come down to check out.*  
*The next day*  
E: Hey, Mandi, you remember how in your story Jesse is in love with Rascal Flatts?  
M: Yea...  
E: And how she's going to Nashville?  
M: Yeeeaaaaa...  
E: What if it was her with Joe Don in the other room...  
M: I'M SO GOING TO WRITE THAT NOW!  
E: Great...**

_**E/N: YES! I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT EVIL, EVIL IDEA! MWAHAHAHA! FEAR THE POWER OF MY SCREWED-UP MIND! **_

**You will find out what Jesse's surprise is next chapter (she may get more than one). **

_**E/N: Hahahahaha…**_

**I'm going to Florida for vacation, so don't get all pissy if I don't update soon, or reply to the challenge immediately.**

**Please review.) **


	9. Dress Fittings Involve A Lot of Swearing

**Verry important, please read! **

_**E/N: I see it's so important you can't even spell "very" correctly. I guess I'd better read it.**_

**Is it irony if I called Joe Don Rooney's wife fat (When she was 9 months pregnant) the DAY she was giving birth WHILE she was giving birth? Just wondering.**

_**E/N: Yes, it is.**_

**In case you didn't catch on, CONGRADULATIONS to Joe Don Rooney and his wife!**

**No one figured out who my favorite Rascal Flatts guy was! Shame shame shame! It's Jay DeMarcus, silly beans!**

**Happy VERY belated 35****th**** birthday to Joe Don Rooney (don't worry, he doesn't look a day over Fast Cars and Freedom).**

**I would feel sorry for Jay if I wasn't mad at him right now... If you guys didn't see the Rascal Flatts Invitation Only thing on CMT (or GAC), during the Q&A part, Jay said childbirth was easier than producing an album. Granted I have experienced neither. But his wife is 8 or 9 month pregnant (baby Maddie expected January 8****th****). He's screwed.**

**I just realized that I said this was very important... And my last five announcements were about Rascal Flatts... Hmmmm... **

_**E/N: Maybe that says something about your priorities.**_

**Sorry it took so long to update. School restarted and I have homework and I'm writing a totally different book. By the time I finished it is around 12am-2am... And I really like sleep. Which is something I miss dearly.**

_**E/N: The editor would also like to apologize for slowing down the updating process herself. In fact, I was just released from the hospital today! I was admitted on Friday because I had pneumonia…the past five days have not been very fun. But don't worry—I'm feeling better now. Or, at least, that's just what I keep telling myself.**_

_**And since I just got out of the hospital and I still cough about five times for every sentence I type, I won't be saying much today.**_

**MUCHO MUCHO GRACIAS TO iHeartChuck! he kept pestering me about updating. You all should me worshiping the ground he walks on!**

Jasper's POV

***Please insert lyrics to Long Ago, I'm too lazy, I'll lose my mojo***

_**E/N: You'll have to insert the lyrics yourself. I hope your mojo is sufficiently replenished. I don't know the song, and the Internet is not being helpful.**_

**A/N: sadface... i cant find them either... Lets just pretend that they are up there...**

"Can we maybe not make a dress for the dance and I just act sick?" Jesse asks from behind me.

"No," Edward starts, "and if you complain anymore you won't get your surprise!"

"Hey, is Nick right? Or no?" Emmett asks from the passenger seat.

"Yeah, she is."

"Hmph!" Jesse exclaims out of annoyance.

"Calm down! Damn, don't blow up!" I tell Jesse. It is starting to make me mad. Jesse just glares at me and I can feel her rage purposefully bubble up inside her.

"Umm... Jesse, your face is turning red..." Edward says.

"Shut up. I know," Jesse snaps back. I can tell that if I look back she will give me the dirtiest look I have seen since I left the Confederate army. Times two.

_Edward, calm her down or I swear to God I will beat the shit out of you_, I think.

"Jesse. Calm down or else you won't live to see your surprise!" Edward reasons.

Jesse calms down a bit, but she's still mad. So I flip the radio on and switch it to the country station.

"_We'll raise our three glasses against evil forces  
Singing 'Whiskey for my men, beer for my horses.'"_

Jesse sang along to the end of Toby Keith's _Beer for My Horses_ that was playing on the radio. Suddenly the song switched to the new Sugarland single... Something about glue... **(A/N: Hehe... Teasing my editor... Sorry Elaine... Next time it will be Taylor Swift. I promise.)**

_**E/N: Just for that, I'm going to type out the lyrics, so all your readers know what is making poor Jesse so distressed.**_

**A/N: And I used my author skilz to delete the lyrics**

**_E/N: The PETA would like to know if beer is really good for horses._**

**A/N: No, but it's better than whiskey**

"Change it! Change it! my ears are burning!" Jesse begs.

"Jesse," Edward begins, "I doubt your ears are actually-"

"Change it!"

"Okay, okay, fine..." I turn the radio off and put in the new Rascal Flatts CD **(A/N: The one that I STILL don't have because my MOM is making me wait until CHRISTMAS! =(! At least my AMAZING editor let me listen to it for a day)** in the player. _Play_ started to play, and Jesse burst.

_**E/N: Yes, your AMAZING editor. Who is so absolutely amazingly fantastic not only because she let you borrow an MP3 player that wasn't even hers, but also because she is editing your story WHILE SHE HAS PNEUMONIA. Feeling a tiny bit guilty about the Sugarland thing? Never mind. I know you're not.**_

"'!" She starts bouncing in her seat, "This isn't even in stores yet! How'd you get it?"

"I have connections," was all I said.

After a couple more songs, we pull into our driveway, Nick right behind us. Jesse didn't forget why she's at our house, and she clings to the seat for dear life. Emmett has to pry we out. And it takes effort.

"Can't I be sick. I do feel sick!" Jesse argues.

"No. And I'll give you your surprise right after I fit your dress!" Alice declares. Jesse stops arguing, surprisingly.

Alice measures Jesse slowly, even for a human. Nick, Emmett, and I are watching in amusement.

"So your sister, she's a tailor?" Nick asks, confused.

"Not really, but fashion is really her thing. And she isn't my sister. We are all adopted."

"Oh..."

"So, Jesse, what pattern do you want your dress?"

"Camouflage."

"A pattern from that era. And do not say 'Confederate gray!'"

"Damn. What patterns were there?" she asks me.

"Really only plain colors and flowery patters as far as I remember...reading." I catch myself, forgetting about Nick.

"Damn it! Aw, I don't know. Green. Just green. Can you do that?" she pleads.

Alice doesn't tease her anymore. "Oh, okay, fine. A green dress it is. You are done being tortured. Until Friday."

"Damn...wait! I get my surprise!" Jesse becomes ecstatic.

"Oh yeah...about your surprise..." I start to admit. "It wasn't really a bribe...we were going to give it to you for your birthday anyway..."

"I honestly don't give a fuck. I want to know what it is now!" Jesse is getting really impatient.

"Fine. Here." I hand her the box. She tears it open and takes out the two tickets inside.

"Front row seats, VIP backstage passes," I explain to an awestruck Jesse, "for the Rascal Flatts show next month."

"How the _fucking _hell-"

"I told you, I have connections!"

"Oh my God. Are these really real?" We all nod. "Holy shit, you guys are amazing!"

**A/N: **

**Sorry this is a short chappy! It's a filler. SORRY! **

**I think Rascal Flatts is getting revenge for the Joe Don thing... I missed their concert in August because of our school overnight trip to Virginia (Wilderness Adventure at Eagle Landing), and now they are coming back remotely close in March, 8 days before my birthday, and it is on the same day as the winter musical. WHY DO YOU GUYS HATE ME? Oh yeah...**

_**E/N: Now is not a great time to bring up whose idea it was for Jesse to be Joe Don's hooker. If you try to blame this on me…**_

**A/N: BTWs that's why I'm skipping the musical. The absolute only reason. So Rascal Flatts fails at repelling me... Unless my little sister has a stupid gymnastics meet... Despite the fact that it'll be my birthday present... Yeah, I'm the shadow middle child**

_**E/N: Well, guess what. I'm skipping the musical too, since I was kind of in the hospital at the time of the audition.**_

**A/N: Autocorrect wants to change "Damnit" to "DeMarcus" on my computer... WFT? **

_**E/N: Your editor wants to change that to "WTF".**_


	10. Sorry, But I NEED Help!

Hey y'all I know, LONG time, no update, but this is sorta important. Me and my editor have sorta come across a litte… issue… and… well… I kinda need a new one… It's a long story, and private so don't be all "WHYYYY? YOU TWO WERE AWESOME!" (jk we weren't THAT awesome). So I'm asking you, my loyal readers (I mean how can you not be loyal! After all, you still are reading this). I'm asking one of you to be my new editor. You will get to read the story before I publish it, and you get to kick my ass back into gear if I haven't updated recently (yea, please don't let me leave this much space between updates again). But I do have some standards that you must meet.

You MUST:

-be around 15ish (anywhere from 14 to 18)  
-have a valid email that you check regularly  
-know (and preferably love) Rascal Flatts (and country music in general)  
-know about the Civil War (ya don't have to be a nerd, but please at least know the major battles/generals)  
-put up with my tense changes and god aweful gramer and spelling  
-have a sense of humor  
-swear. Cause I do.

And if you become my editor, you will have to:

-return the story via email (as a connected document) with grammatical corrections  
-you are allowed to comment all you want just put your comments in bold italics and make it look like this_**(E/N: bla bla bla)**_  
-IF you publish the chapter as one of your stories I WILL BE PISSED and I WILL HAVE YOUR ACCOUNT SHUT DOWN. It is plagurism. It is illegal.

So if you qualify, then please review/PM me. If I get a lot of people who want to do it then I will probably "interview" you. Please don't be offended if for some strange reason a bunch of people qualify and I don't chose you. Its nothing personal. I still appreciate you.

PS: Elaine, if you are reading this, I'm sorry, but you haven't answered any of my texts, and idk you're pissed.


End file.
